"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
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