You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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