One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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