Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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