i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
