I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
