I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
