Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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