it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
