Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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