I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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