You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize