Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
