I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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