I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
