I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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