look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
No I am not eating basil off your cock
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize