Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(951): View more from California

I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?

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(513): View more from Ohio

She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.

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(456): View more from

im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.

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(847): View more from Illinois

Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.

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(845): View more from New York

Because ur a stupid bitch

(1-845): View more from New York

Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.

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(708): View more from Illinois

I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?

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