Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
