Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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