Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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