I can't watch pbs sober anymore
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
