Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Pooping to opera.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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