i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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