The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Randomize
