It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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