the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
