Swine flu. Run for my life!
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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