Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
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Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
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I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
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