Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
