One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Randomize