Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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