Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
