More tranny stories later!
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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