Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
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No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
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This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
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