I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
