you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
