Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
