you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
