I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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