that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
