4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
My cat gives me a boner
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
