Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy sore nipples Batman
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize