Nicole vs. Life
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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