he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
you traded sex for a burrito?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
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