My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
