For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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