they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize