I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
