we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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