She went from zero to smokin in five shots
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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