I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Terrible idea I love it
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
