Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
