Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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