id be glad to
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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