Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize