I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
