Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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