Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She's like a pop up book from hell.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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