I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
