When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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