Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
